Blog 6.Wagon Spills

Tumble off the back of a wagon? Dust yourself off and get back on.

We’ve all tumbled from a wagon or two. We swear off booze, promise to exercise, or write that screenplay. Despite being really, really serious this time, the stats don’t support our good intentions. For example, how is that resolution coming along? By now, we've abandoned more than 50% of those promises, that jumps to 91% by year end.

Some wagon spills are truly spectacular—TMZ should have something—yet most are private, quiet affairs. Circumstances aside, when it does happen, we tell opposite versions of the same story in order to console ourselves. Say you promise a dry March or to journal everyday. But then crap, you’re 6 pints deep—never happened to me—on St. Patrick’s Day, or you last wrote weeks ago. In getting wasted (accidentally), we make our lack of willpower the villain; not writing obviously means our dreams aren’t important. Both stories suck. They’re mean.

Here’s what we forget. That proverbial wagon we fell off is ours, and while we sit in the muck berating ourselves, it hasn’t moved. At worst, your trusty ox might have trudged ahead in search of some juicy grass. Brush off the dirt, and climb back on.

So what if you haven’t exercised for weeks, do it today. You’re back on the wagon. If the events of March 17th are blurry, blame the green beer, dish out the needed apologies, and don’t drink today. Look Up, your wagon is right beside you.

4 Thoughts to Kinda, Sorta Help You Stay on Your Wagon

Today is Today

Iron pledges like I’ll never _______again, almost always fail. They are way too big and forever is a LLLLLLLOOOOONNNNNGGGG time. This is why many recovery programs lead with a Just for Today mantra. It takes a big problem, like forever, and breaks it down into bit-sized pieces, like today. When we focus on what can be controlled—the immediate action right in front of us—we give ourselves the power to build positive momentum. Today, I’ll run, not smoke, or cook dinner. Tomorrow, I’ll binge watch Love is Blind Brazil. Today is today. Worry about tomorrow, tomorrow, and keep pushing tomorrow ahead of you. Simple, totally not easy.*

*Super cheesy, but that last sentence just poured out. Because it flowed so easily, I’m convinced that I most likely ripped it from a clever greeting card, or Eleanor Roosevelt. She has a lot of good quotes.

Plan for an Idiot. I Am an Idiot

Any structure helps. Know what you’re going to do, and when and where you will do it. For example, you decide to meditate. First, find your quiet space. Next, download an app like Calm, Wake Up, or Headspace. Select the beginner of beginner sessions, get comfortable, and press play at 9:15pm. Then, going forward, schedule it everyday at 9:15 or whatever time works best for you. Yup, super dull. Self improvement is rarely fireworks and montage songs.

Glimpse the Future

Pain, especially the soul weeping kind, is a powerful motivator. To get a sense of what I mean, imagine yourself 5 years out. Have a think about what that person will hate you for not doing today. Will not returning to university at 37, absolutely crush you at 42? Or maybe your 80 year old self is super-pissed because you stopped exercising and now can’t pick up your grandchildren? Feeling that type of pain, even if imagined, can get us moving in the right direction.

Don’t Break the Chain

Jerry Seinfeld said, whatever you do, don’t break the chain. There is an unforgettable scene in Jerry Before Seinfeld showing this idea. He sits on the street surrounded by yellow papers flapping in the wind. As the camera pans out, the papers fill the screen, stretching a full city block in every direction. On each paper: one joke.

In his early days, Seinfeld forced himself to write one joke per day, no excuses. Over a lifetime, that seemingly insignificant effort—but done every single day—resulted in him creating an incredible amount of material. He simply refused to Break the Chain. ‘But he’s Jerry Seinfeld.’ True. However, before he became JERRY SEINFELD he was jerry seinfeld, the goofy guy fighting for stage time.

Wagons Ho!

In striving to make ourselves better, no one nails it on the first try. However, the ones that seem to are willing to work through more slip ups and bumpy patches, aka wagon tumbles, than the rest of us. They inherently understand that without them holding the reins, their wagon stands still.